Prologue and Background

An explanation

I am considering this first post a prologue and background of sorts.

I am someone who was formerly in Good News Mission from the age of about 20 to 27.

I do believe God saved me at Good News Mission despite the flawed theology intermixed within their presentation of the true Gospel message, and I also believe God led me out of Good News Mission and has led me to a much healthier place in all aspects of my life; spiritually, psychologically, and physically – as I believe they all affect one another.

Proper beliefs matter.

In Good News Mission speak, when your heart is aligned with God, things flow properly and things that were once a problem are not.

I have attempted to write out blog posts in a sort of order in order to help those in GNM untangle certain ways of thinking, as well as those who have not been in the organization understand their way of thinking. This proves to be a bit of a challenge, as so many of the beliefs overlap in being talked about. As such, the blog posts may go in order, but I am also hoping that people can feel free to go from one to another. As I write the posts, in my mind it often feels necessary to have to then explain another concept in relation because I tend to already know how the GNM arguments go. But perhaps that can be allayed and come to as there is interaction and need to be addressed – or perhaps as more blog posts are written, I will likely hyperlink back and forth as well so I will not feel the need to have to put lengthy explanations each time I feel a “ping “ of what will likely be a GNM trigger word having to explain definitions in how certain words are heard versus what may actually be meant.

Some background on me though, for those who have been in Good News Mission and those who have not been.

Like I said, I went to GNM from the age of 20, and I do believe it was the effectual call. – God was calling me to salvation. I can say I am thankful that Good News Mission is basically Calvinistic. I was taught about eternal security and unconditional election, though said terms were not used. I am also thankful that they are in some sense covenantal. – Again no systematics were given, but the covenant promise to Abraham was always brought up and how we as the church, are Abraham’s children by faith. I some sense I learned some good things…but mixed with a lot of error. So in some ways I am thankful for that, but at the same time it came with a lot of baggage I had to “throw away”.

I should probably also give my salvation testimony lest anyone think I was merely at GNM but my heart wasn’t truly changed. So for that if anyone cares to read will be hyperlinked here.

I would say about two years before I left Good News Mission, I started to want “more’ than the basics of the Gospel and what I now know is called Word of Faith theology. I saw an elder from a different GNM church “liked” a Christian radio station that was outside “the church” (GNM) I asked him about it. He said he believed other churches had the gospel but didn’t teach you to deny yourself like GNM did. So I felt I had some tacit permission to try and listen. I was very wary of “worldly churches”. I listened and even though I’d be anxious, listening to whole messages in context, I started to realize many did not teach works based salvation, even though it could at first sound that way to me.

Somehow, by God’s providence I started finding more Calvinistic sermons and such on YouTube. I do remember the first time I saw R.C. Sproul. My first thought when seeing him at a chalkboard was Satanic and worldly and scholarly thinking he “knows” something. What the heck was this evil “T.U.L.I.P”? he was writing out…yeah.

At some point, I was going to community college and ran into, unbeknownst to me, a Reformed church’s bible study outreach. I dared to go and just “test it out” to see if they believed in salvation by works or not. I went a few times and spoke to the Pastor and I can’t remember what I asked him that had him say, “So what you are saying is how do you know if your church is a cult?’ I basically denied it at the time, but that is when I started reading at his advice, “Decision Making and the Will of God” by Gary Friesen. That book started opening my eyes to things in relation to doctrine. I was still going to GNM all Sunday, Wednesdays, and Friday nights and was reading that book at one of the World Camps. I believe it was for about two years, I’d been listening to Matt Chandler sermons, Paul Washer, Voddie Bauchaum (and particularly his sermon “Modern Spirituality and Your Mind” and started feeling like I couldn’t keep this up staying at GNM. The radio station was also KKLA if you were wondering. I would listen while running or walking in the morning so therefore also got more exposure to different types of sermons and viewpoints without feeling so threatened. I believe this was a two year process because I recall at one point being convicted about baptism by a pastor being aired on KKLA – GNM has their baptisms once a year in Dallas at the Winter Camps, so usually I fought going to Winter Camp but that year I was adamant I had to go – not to earn salvation by being baptized but knowing it was a command of Jesus. Prior I had viewed it as a work that need not be done. Well that year I somehow missed the one hour window for baptism. I waited a whole year again and recall being adamant I would get baptized and never go to a Winter Camp again. That is what occurred. I could no longer just think “Well I listen to this type of sermon (GNM, allegory, word of faith) here in person and can just listen to this other kind (exegetical, much more actually practical in living out a life in obedience to Christ more readily defined) online.” I would have constant battles with the minister that was over me at the time. I really wanted to follow, but I couldn’t because the system just did not make sense.

In God’s providence, the Good News Mission I went to also sold their property and moved about 1.5 hours away from my house. Between the constant battling with my minister, and that move, I took it as a “sign” or now perhaps a kind providence to step out in faith knowing that God was with me and that there were other true churches “out there” and that God would lead me to them. I left in the summer of 2019, and since then God has been faithful to lead me and renew my mind more and more. There are no perfect churches or people in said churches (GNM trigger word I know, I don’t mean like that), but I believe God has definitely worked in my life to help me better understand Him and who He is. I also started going to school at a Christian college around this time and took as many theology classes as I could fit in. This helped me delve into and clarify many things as well.

Now you may be wondering why I delved into this so hard and didn’t simply leave and never go to church again – well for one thing I do believe I am saved and believe in Jesus atoning working being sufficient and I knew that just because GNM was wrong in certain areas (yes, I understood and understand primary and secondary issues) that they were still correct in that point of the Gospel. I also remember somewhere within those two years watching a video online, out of context albeit as it was a health related video, but the screen said “My people die do to a lack of knowledge” partially quoting Hosea 4:6. Now, I will tell you some of the reasons I believed GNM or wanted to believe them so bad regarding their word of faith theology was that I have had crippling OCD from about high school on (milder prior) and an eating disorder. Seeing that verse I thought and rightly so “I need to figure this out or I am going to die.” I had tried so hard to do what they said and “just believe” and hope I’d be “healed”. I had tried their ways – though I am pretty sure leadership would say otherwise but to no avail…now to give them credit, or more so God, I had improved to  a certain degree and am grateful…but looking back it was dangerous and I believe the Holy Spirit really was quenched in working in my life more fully because of doctrine as well as my own beliefs and interpretations of such things. Yet I know and rest in God’s providence of allowing such. At the same time I believe it was so that I could speak out and help others that may be in the same position (2 Corinthians 1:4), and perhaps others who have not been in GNM but want to help someone who is and understand them better.

I am also expecting and doing this blog in a way knowing that it will help me more precisely put ideas together in articulation and theology as I recall it being taught and put together. So thank you for being part of this process. I have prayed about it and hope in wisdom that God will guide me, in reading His word and in asking wisdom of trusted people around me that He may and has already used.

^“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)